What is that you ask? Well, I’m going to tell you straight up. It stands for ‘Before Baby Bucket List.’ I know, I know… Some of you will not understand my need for a #bbbl since you think having a baby is the greatest gift to this planet, and motherhood is the most important job there is, and so on and so forth, but let’s be real here. I know the truth. Motherhood, while being incredible, is hard as fuck and crazy. I just constantly have visions of Katherine Heigl in Knocked Up yelling, “I had to sacrifice my job, my body, my youth, my vagina.” I mean, she’s got a point. Now, I know there are mom bosses out there who are having babies and killing it in their careers (my mom was one of them – oh, and she’s a BAMF), but that doesn’t mean it’s easy or fun at times.
At this point in my life I usually sleep a solid 8 hours a night, and if I want to take a nap in the afternoon I can. I mean I’m not really a napper, but I am just saying if I want to I can. If I want to go stroll thru IKEA in the middle of the day alone I can. If I want to go lay on the beach with my husband, and then go into a bar and grab a drink afterwards I can. If I want to take off tomorrow and spend 10 days in another country I can. Really, if I want to do anything alone I can. I love being able to blast music super loud in the car and sing at the top of my lungs. I love being able to practice my guitar at all hours of the day and not give a shit about waking somebody up. I love being able to edit a video for 6 hours strait, only breaking for food and water. These are all things I LOVE but I know will never be the same.
Contrary to popular belief, I do want to be a mom. It has taken me a lot longer to come to that realization than most people, but I’m here. I am not naturally someone who loves kids. I don’t have that deep down urge to be motherly. When I hear a baby cry I don’t immediately feel the need to help. In fact, I prefer to avoid the crying and screaming and walk the other direction. However, I’d like to think I will be a great mom. I know there are a lot of sacrifices that have to be made once becoming a mom, and I am willing to make them. I am just trying to live life to the fullest now so that I have no regrets when that part of my life starts.
So there you have it. 2020 is my #bbbl year and it’s time to do all the things I said I wanted to do as a kid and have yet to do. I am talking about skydiving, surfing, traveling alone, personal growth and down right just doing whatever the fuck I want.
Oh, and I intend on documenting every last bit of it right here on my blog, YouTube and Instagram. Want to join me?